Saturday, April 26, 2008

5 Ways To Stop A Divorce

If you're looking to stop your divorce now, you obviously believe your marriage still stands a chance. That's great because without this faith and the commitment to work at the marriage, divorce might well be the only solution. It doesn't have to be the only solution. Professional counselors will tell you there are many proven ways to stop a divorce.

Here's a 5 step approach to stop your divorce now --

1. Stop the divorce proceedings

Once you cross that line, it's over. Make the commitment as a couple that you want to make the marriage work. Any partnership requires commitment and effort. Marriage more so.

2. Look at root causes and figure out solutions

To stop your divorce now is one thing. To make the marriage work again takes a lot more. Clearly, there are reasons why divorce almost took course. Together, examine the "whys" of how the marriage went sour. Make a list, then determine the action plan BOTH of you must implement to get things on track. It may involve attitude, appearance or habit changes on both your parts. Decide to address them and do so.

3. Communicate, listen better, show respect

How you address these causes is as important as knowing what they are and your action plans. To give your marriage a chance, you both need to work at how you engage with one another.

One or all of the following is bound to be lacking -- frequent and solid communication, listening to the other, and showing due respect to each other's views. Work at these at the same time as you work on dealing with specific causes.

4. Compromise and give in

There will be points you can't agree on as you go through this whole process. Both of you must take on the attitude of compromise and giving in when necessary. Keep the big picture of your marriage in mind. Don't squabble the small details.

5. Fall in love again

Once the issues are sorted, fall in love again. Re-discover each other, find the joy of being together again. Once you decide to stop your divorce now, a lot of work lies ahead. A marriage has almost been destroyed and, only when you apply the above ways to stop a divorce, can you start to rebuild for a happier future together. Stick with it, happiness is just around the corner for you both.

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