Implications And Reasons

Divorce is the ending or dissolution of marriage before the death of either spouse. People opt for this unusual incident in their life when they feel that their partner is not compatible to them. There may be several reasons behind divorce, but one this is sure that no reason is incurable. People should not decide for divorce in hurry. Because, marriage is a pious lifetime bond between two people of different gender and it is meant to be a commitment of togetherness till the last breath of life.

Implications of Divorce

According to sociological studies, it is identified that divorce is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse. It is often considered as one of the most hurtful periods in a person's life. Separation and Divorce is often related with grief-based sentiments over the loss of the desire to continue relationship. These sentiments include sadness, lethargy, depression, anxiety, anger, and other emotions.

The trauma caused by divorce is more painful and traumatic when couples choose option of legal divorce. It adds additional stress beyond the normal cases over the couples involved. For some time, it looks like relieving from a tough and unbearable relationship, but when the anger is over then divorced couples feel the gap in their life and value the importance of ex spouse in their life.

Popular Reasons for Divorce

There may be several reasons of excuses for divorce, but some of the most important and famous reasons are stated here:

1. Relationship dissatisfaction - Relationship dissatisfaction is a main cause behind divorce. It arises when a person starts thinking that his/her spouse is not according to their expectations or he/she is not a suitable match for him/her.

2. Presence of another relationship - In some cases extra marital affairs of either wife or husband becomes a reason for divorce. When they start comparing their spouse with current partner and find that his/her life will be better if they end existing relationship and start their life with new partner.

3. Lack of proper communication - It's true that current world is mad behind money and other materialistic things. In that case people are mad behind earning money, and they don't have time to spend with spouse. This lack of communication leads to dissatisfaction in sentimental as well as physical relations and lessen interest in spouse.

Apart from above described reasons there are other reasons also like financial problems, insecurity in relations as well as desire for more in relation. People often forget that all these problems are curable and can be solved on time to avoid divorces and traumatic experiences which is on the way after divorce.

Survive A Divorce

With so many marriages ending up in divorce (around 50% in America) there has become an ever increasing need for help in surviving the ordeal of a divorce.

The first thing to you need to do is make doubly sure that there is no way you can save your marriage and that divorce is the only option. If you can be sure that you are not making a mistake in getting divorced the easier it can be to come to terms with the separation.

Once you have made your decision you need to start mentally preparing yourself for the life beyond divorce.

Once you have reached this point and you have filed for divorce there is no point looking back, what has happened is in the past and you now need to look to what needs to be done to make the separation easier and start planning for the future.

Don't go blaming yourself and don't start thinking of yourself as a failure. Divorce happens and so you and your partner haven't got the marriage idea quite right but you now need to learn from any mistakes, let go and move on.

I know it's easy for me to say and the concept of divorce is probably a crushing blow but you can and you will survive this. You know your marriage and you know it can't be saved and that you are seeking divorce with good reason. It makes sense to move on.

You need to try and let go before the end, begin to start making a new life (at least in your mind) before that final bit of paper comes through the door.

Divorce is a whole lot easier if the whole process is amicable. The more fighting and arguing that occurs over custody and finances the more stressful divorce can be. Divorce is hard enough you just don't need or want any added animosity. The harder the divorce the slower the recovery process will be.

Divorced spouse can often be filled with feelings of hatred, anger and self-loathing. Stress levels run high and it just seems impossible to get past the frustration and the continual memories of the failed marriage but divorce has to mean 'the end'. To survive divorce and get on with your life you need to visualise and understand the line drawn under your marriage. You might not like it but you have to accept it.

Don't ever think that because one marriage is failed you won't enjoy a loving relationship again. You need to re-build your self-esteem, accept that many marriages fail and that your divorce doesn't mean you are a failure.

Try and start rebuilding your life and doing something you enjoy every day. Make sure you have time out from going over and over your marriage. Deliberately make extra time for things you enjoy and try and keep your mind occupied for as much of the day as possible.

Obviously evenings are harder and this is when you need to start rebuilding your social life. Don't lock yourself away, get out there, do thinks you enjoy, meet new people and start learning that there is a whole new life waiting for you. See divorce as the beginning and not the end!

If you have children don't use them to get at your ex-spouse. Children suffer enough after a divorce and you need to make it as easy as possible for them. It's also easier for you if you can learn to let go of the anger.

If you believe you can do it then you can do it. Don't let divorce ruin your life, it's your decision to go down with the sinking ship or get back out there and start swimming. You can do whatever you want, you can make it happen. There are a whole load of new opportunities out there just waiting for you to grab them. It's a bit like riding a horse or a bicycle, if you fall off you have to get back on if you don't you'll loose your nerve.

Stop A Divorce

Your marriage is in trouble, and you know that even though you want to get it all over with that you still love your partner and that you will probably regret your actions in the near future, the action needed is clear- you need to prevent divorce.

Divorce is not the answer, and rushing into one is a big mistake, the divorce process will eliminate your chances of rebuilding your relationship, so you better consider this move carefully and be absolutely sure that you have exhausted all the means and ways to improve your relationship.

Your spouse does not understand you, and both of you are not communicating any more, it seems as though there is a huge gap between you, that even the smallest things makes you upset about each other, and that what was once easy and fun has now become unbearable. Preventing divorce is not about compromise, preventing divorce is about rediscovering your relationship.

The changes in relationships seem almost impossible, from once passionate lovers that could not bare being apart couples change into two different people that sometimes seek the opportunity to be as separate from one another as possible. The dangers of the growing distance between couple raises questions in their minds and in many cases this ends in a divorce.

Every person is different, every couple has its own unique story, but the bottom line is usually this – one or both partners think that it is impossible to turn the relationship into something that will flourish again, with the hope of regaining the love of the other lost the partners turn into the simplest and what seems like the easiest solution, instead of fighting and arguing over and over again, the clean cut divorce looks like a good solution.

Sometimes and in some cases this is probably the best way to go, divorce for some couples is the best answer to a hopeless situation. But if you are one of the many people who feel that not all hope is gone and that you wish to continue building the relationship you have with your partner, who at a certain time was the closest to you, this is the place to start looking inwards and outwards and work to regain your harmoniums loving relationship once again.

Good relationships start with good communication, it is almost sure that you once had a relationship with good communication, you can probably remember the days when you didn’t have enough time with your spouse to talk about all the plans you had for your life and to share your thoughts? How long has it been now? How many years since you last had a really good communication exchange? After you’ve exhausted the discussion about the children’s schedule, who has to drop off the dry cleaning and when you will visit your in-laws, do you find yourself at a loss for words?

You are not alone. There is nothing wrong with either of you. You are probably just mired in everyday life and because your daily schedule is so hectic, over the years you simply ran out of time for casual and enjoyable discussion. And, now you can’t even remember how to even talk to your spouse, stopping or preventing a divorce will mean that you will need to rethink the way you communicate.

Good communication is not so hard and it is vital for preventing a divorce, it is just plain simple work, until you get used to it. Instead of talking about the regular things, you will need to think a little harder and try a lot harder. Talk about real things, not the work routine and the children’s activities think of things you want to talk about, you’ll find yourself anxious to get home to share the information with your spouse. Avoid the topics that do not interest you spouse, remember that this is about the both of you, and what you find interesting, just finding this topic will earn you points for trying, do not plan ahead too much – just let yourself into a discussion about things you have not discussed for long.

Listen to the news in the morning or on your way to work. When you are listening, try to focus on those things you think your spouse would find interesting. What would she tell you about? Then ask her if she heard the story, and what she thought about it.

Talk about things you want to plan or do over the next month or two. Vacation planning is a good topic, but only if you are both looking forward to going and if you are both actively involved in planning for the vacation.

Preventing divorce is a complicated issue – not impossible one. You will need to invest time and energy into you marriage now, and do everything you can to prevent divorce. Good luck!

5 Ways To Stop A Divorce

If you're looking to stop your divorce now, you obviously believe your marriage still stands a chance. That's great because without this faith and the commitment to work at the marriage, divorce might well be the only solution. It doesn't have to be the only solution. Professional counselors will tell you there are many proven ways to stop a divorce.

Here's a 5 step approach to stop your divorce now --

1. Stop the divorce proceedings

Once you cross that line, it's over. Make the commitment as a couple that you want to make the marriage work. Any partnership requires commitment and effort. Marriage more so.

2. Look at root causes and figure out solutions

To stop your divorce now is one thing. To make the marriage work again takes a lot more. Clearly, there are reasons why divorce almost took course. Together, examine the "whys" of how the marriage went sour. Make a list, then determine the action plan BOTH of you must implement to get things on track. It may involve attitude, appearance or habit changes on both your parts. Decide to address them and do so.

3. Communicate, listen better, show respect

How you address these causes is as important as knowing what they are and your action plans. To give your marriage a chance, you both need to work at how you engage with one another.

One or all of the following is bound to be lacking -- frequent and solid communication, listening to the other, and showing due respect to each other's views. Work at these at the same time as you work on dealing with specific causes.

4. Compromise and give in

There will be points you can't agree on as you go through this whole process. Both of you must take on the attitude of compromise and giving in when necessary. Keep the big picture of your marriage in mind. Don't squabble the small details.

5. Fall in love again

Once the issues are sorted, fall in love again. Re-discover each other, find the joy of being together again. Once you decide to stop your divorce now, a lot of work lies ahead. A marriage has almost been destroyed and, only when you apply the above ways to stop a divorce, can you start to rebuild for a happier future together. Stick with it, happiness is just around the corner for you both.

Did you find this advice on how to Stop Your Divorce Now helpful? Get your FREE 6-part mini-course on The 6 Most Common Reasons For Divorce... And How To Stop Them Happening to You!

Help with divorce

It amazes me what marriage has become in the last 30 or 40 years. It's got to be quite different than it was back in the old days. I mean come on, folks are getting divorced left and right these days like it's no big thing. Don't the sacred vows of marriage mean anything? If I were to answer this question based on my life experiences, I would have to say NO! From a very young age I found out quickly that marriages don't always last like they're supposed to. That whole "till death do us part" spiel is worth about as much as a Hostess Twinkie. Get the picture? Although loving couples are constantly tying the knot, in no time at all many of them will need help with divorce. This is our sad modern-day reality, folks. Are you one of the many who currently need help with divorce?

Where would you go for help with divorce? Well, in my opinion, I honestly see only two routes concerning this issue. The first one that most couple instantly dismiss is counceling. Why doesn't anyone think this will prove beneficial? It very well could save your relationship. This could not only benefit you, but the children, if any, also. It basically comes down to whether or not you wish to work on things or start over with someone else. Obviously if you decide to start over with someone else, you are going to need help with divorce. Yes indeed, this is the second, and more popular option when it comes to a damaged relationship. Suddenly you're splitting everything down the middle, including the children. This can get hairy to say the least. I should know, I was the child at age 5. The back and forth drama between my parents went on until I was 16 years old.

Before you acquire help with divorce regarding your marriage, I want you to consider something a very wise 19 year old said to me once. Now, I'm not going to lie, I was blown off my feet that something useful actually came out of the mouth of a 19 year old male. No offense, but I was one once, and there's not a great deal useful going on upstairs yet. He was considering cheating on his girlfriend with a fellow college student. After he thought it out, he decided that it made no sense to toss his three year relationship in the garbage just to start a new one with another girl, who will be in the same spot a few years down the road. It's wise to think ahead before attaining help with divorce and ending the marriage altogether.

Marriage crisis

If there's one thing that goes without saying in this world, it's that you'd better be certain of your love for someone before you actually tie the knot. Failing to be certain can clearly result in a huge mess, and sometimes broken families. Why do you thing brides and grooms routinely get cold feet just before their wedding ceremony. THIS is why. A small part of them wonders if they're making the right choice. It's only natural when you think about it. I mean really; how many times do you really plan to get married in this lifetime? Hopefully only once. However, when the wrong decision is made, or things start to go array down the road, marriages often end. Although some couples resort to marriage crisis counseling, most just give up and call it quits.

We have to wonder what the right choice is. Does it really make sense that so many people marry the wrong individuals, or do people simply get tired or bored with one another? Yesterday I was speaking with a fellow parent at my daughter's school. We got to talking about divorce and marriage crisis counseling, which her husband works with on a daily basis. I made a joke about how all of us kids who grew up in the 80s and 90s have divorced parents. She laughed and agreed. Her parents, her husband's parents, my parents, and my wife's parents are all divorced, and did so when we were very young. It's just so typical. In retrospect, my father never even tried marriage crisis counseling or anything for that matter before he up and left my Mom for another woman. How typical is that! No wonder my mother still despises the guy. Oh, and of course it was a woman 11 years younger. Isn't it always?

There are a few different places you can acquire marriage crisis help if need be. You can meet a psychiatrist with your spouse, or if you're involved with a church, you can always meet with the minister, pastor, reverend, or priest for counseling. The key is tackling the problems in the early stages. Don't wait until things get so bad that the kids feel isolated in their own home. This isn't fair. Deal with marriage issues in a grown-up fashion with marriage crisis counseling.

Legal Separation

Legal Separation

If you are facing a legal separation, you are perhaps at a time in your life when you are seeing the death of a dream. Though a separation is not a divorce, you do know that there is a strong possibility that this will be the next step. Even if you are the one that asked for the separation, you are still mourning what was once a dream that should have lasted for the rest of your life. It’s never easy on either party.

A friend who is now in a legal separation tells me that even when you are the one asking to end things, you still have a lot to get through. However, the one who is asking to get out has already grieved the loss of the dream to some extent, while the other person has no idea. This makes legal separation hard because both spouses are in different places. This makes dealing with everything a whole lot harder. One spouse may be hoping to work things out and the other may have already given up hope. It’s hard when you aren’t in the same place in the grieving process.

A legal separation is supposed to be a means to see if you really want to let go of the marriage or if you can overcome your problems. What happens next will depend on what your problems were and of course, how the both of you feel. There is never an easy way to go about legal separation, but you know that it is something you have to do. You probably don’t want to jump straight to divorce if you feel there is even the smallest amount of hope. You want to know you did everything you could to save your marriage before you deemed it to be over for good.

If you think your marriage is in trouble, you should see lawyer about legal separation. You can find out what you options are and if this is really something you want to do. The rules and laws surrounding legal separation may vary from state to state, so it is important that you know what you are getting into and what to expect when you take that step. A lawyer can make sure that you are protected when you enter into separation, and that if you have kids that they are protected as well. When it comes to the end of the marriage that involves children, they have to be the first and most important consideration in your mind.

Divorce papers

Divorce papers

Receiving divorce papers is something that most married couples hope to never experience. However, with the divorce rate constantly increasing, more and more people are holding those papers in their hands. I’ve seen coworkers be served with divorce papers at the workplace and know how much it can destroy someone. Even if you know that they will be arriving, it still strikes some emotion inside of you that makes it a tearful event. Those divorce papers symbolize the end of something that should have been wonderful. Perhaps some people long to hold those divorce papers in their hand so that they would finally be free from their misery.

More divorce lawyers are setting up shop all around the world. Why? Because there is a demand for them since more marriages are not working out. It saddens me to see people filing for divorce when they may not have tried any other options. I personally didn’t get married to get divorced, so if my marriage is on shaky grounds, I’ll do whatever I can to restore it. However, if something drastic happens or things really are impossible, then I’d be willing to let go. Divorce sometimes seems too easy and almost as if you’re giving up without even trying. When you say “I do”, make sure you go as far as you can before having those divorce papers served to your spouse.

I’ve seen divorce papers destroy lives as well. The coworker who received hers at work, headed for a downward spiral after that. Until that moment, she’d been hopeful about her marriage working out, and he shocked her by having them delivered to her. She had a nervous breakdown and has never fully recovered. After receiving divorce papers, you have the fun task of dividing up property, assets and finances. Perhaps you need to work out alimony or child support and custody. There are so many things involved. One of both of the partners could have their credit ruined from a divorce. You’ll also discover how much more arguing can take place after filing for divorce. Suddenly, items that you never thought your spouse cared about are being fought over. Pets may become a topic of discussion.

Your divorce papers will always play a role in your life. They should be kept in a safe place in case they’d ever be needed for legal purposes. Don’t ever throw them away. You’ll need them if and when you do ever get remarried. You may need them to prove a legal divorce someday if your spouse ends up getting in financial trouble.